Marie Kondo vs. Sam Rebelsky (#1342)

Topics/tags: Autobiographical, short

The location: The Rebelsky household.

Scenario: My offspring have hired Marie Kondo to help with decluttering.

We join our story in the middle.

MK holds up a piece of paper that appears to be an old shopping list.

Does this spark joy?

Yes.

Really?

Yes. I remember that shopping expedition. Afterwards, I stopped and had a milkshake at Cunningham’s, back when we had Cunninghams.

MK holds up a copy of The Princess Bride.

Does this spark joy?

Yes.

You have ten copies. All of them can’t spark joy!

Each is different. This one is one of the printings with a fold-out cover. That one comes from after the movie was released. This one has notes in it from when I was reading it the first time. The hardcover has illustrations. All of them spark joy.

MK holds up a few more copies.

And these others?

Oh. Those are for loaning to people.

Why do those spark joy?

I envision the happiness people get when the read the book for the first time. Or even the second time.

MK holds up a crumpled candy wrapper.

This can’t spark joy. Let’s toss it.

But it’s from Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews! I remember that my grandmother used to keep those on her counter when I visited her in New York. And you can’t get them in Iowa any more. I thought they might be available in Pennsylvania, but I forgot to go shopping when I was in Pittsburgh. And, arguably, I should’t put peanut products in our house.

MK points to a neat but large pile of approximately 1,217 boxes of Crayola Crayons?

One box, maybe. Even thirty two because I want to use them in my class. But this many boxes? They can’t bring you joy!

Have you not heard about the power of multiples? Think of Ai Weiwei’s Sunflower Seeds! Also, I have some great ideas about physical pixel art. Looking ahead to those brings me joy.

We think we hear MK say oy in response. But she’s not Jewish. Confusing.

You appear to have a few thousand small wooden chicken legs that look like they are designed for a board game. Perhaps Stone Age.

Did you not hear me say multiples? I have another project vaguely in mind. And it’s 3,000, if I count correctly.

MK holds up another something unrecognizable.

I suppose this also sparks joy?

You found it! Of course a tab from a band-aid sparks joy. It reminds me of the caregiving I did for Michelle. Or the caregiving she did for me. Some combination thereof. Wait a minute, let me find a display box for it.

I feel so sorry for your family.

Some followup comments

Even though so many things spark joy in my life, I’m still sad a lot of the time. Is that why I look for so many things to spark joy?

On that note: This musing was inspired by an Interweb meme about a depressed person meeting Marie Kondo and throwing out everything in their house because nothing sparked joy.

Yes, I once had 1000+ boxes of crayons (24 count). Or some absurdly large number. I gave a bunch to a student who was doing an art project of their own. I got rid of most of the rest back when the Marshalltown school district was collecting school supplies. Each fall, I consider resupplying myself when they’re on sale.

No, I don’t really have part of a band-aid around to remind me of Michelle. But many items raise joy because I associate them with people I love. And like my comment about the band-aid tab, I’m not always coherent about it.

I’m also pretty sure that I threw out all my Goldenberg’s wrappers. But I may have kept one movie-theatre box (empty). It’s also not necessary to drive to Pennsylvania to get them; you can order them online.

Version 1.0 of 2025-03-20.