Calming down

Topics/tags: Autobiographical, short

I started today in a bad mood. No, strike that. I started today in a really bad mood. I was frustrated about how much non-Fellowship work is impinging upon my Fellowship time. I was frustrated by a potential new policy mentioned in passing at yesterday’s faculty meeting (and confirmed in a follow-up email). I was frustrated by some of the HR comments at yesterday’s faculty meeting. I was frustrated [1] by a variety of issues that I will never post in a public message.

So I started composing email messages.

That’s never a good idea. That is, composing email messages when I am frustrated and in a bad mood is never a good idea [2].

Amazingly, some voice in the back of my head reminded me of that. I found myself repeatedly starting to write a message, realizing that I needed to take a deep breath, and then deleting the message.

And you know what? I feel much better. That doesn’t mean that I’m not frustrated by how much non-Fellowship work is impinging upon my Fellowship time. That doesn’t mean that I’m not frustrated by some of the other issues. But I’m not in a bad mood anymore. And I’m moving forward. I even found myself asking others for permission to send email messages that were not the least bit inflammatory.

I owe that voice in the back of my head a drink, or at least a thank you note.

Postscript: Surprisingly, last night’s rant about the Web site wasn’t affecting me. I’ve ranted about that issue so much that another such rant doesn’t make me angry, just sad [3].

Postscript: I wrote this musing in the morning because I wanted to get the feelings down. My policy is to post in the evening, so I did not post until a half-day later.

[1] Dear Grammarly, I realize that you want me to vary my word choice. But I find power and rhythm in repetition.

[2] Well, rarely a good idea.

[3] Well, I’m a bit upset that it’s five years of inaction on these issues. But I’ve been worn down.

Version 1.0 of 2018-09-18.