Friday. April 1!, I969

experience and not hide it from any-
one."
Boyl “I haven't told very many peo-
‘tple. It‘s not like we're trying to keep
it a really big secret, but there is a
hesitanoy to let it be known, I just
didn’t feel like I really wanted very
many people to know. I think'that they
ought to know that stuff like this does
happen and is present, but I don’t par-
ncularly want them to associate it
.With me. The people I told have been
friends. The others, I don't see how it
could matter to them that I personally
have had this abortion. I guess if they
could relate it to a definite person it
would seem a lot more real. I suppose
all the "good liberals" would say if it's
the alternative we chose that would be
our decision. But I don't know how ii:
‘would affect their relationship to me if
they knew that I personally had gone
through this. I just had a vague idea that
I disagreed with abortion laws before,
but it's quite a bit more real to me now.”
Girl C: “The only harm I could see in
changing abortion laws is that people who
‘don’t want abortions will be forced to
have them by people who are ashamed.
I think it would be completely up to
the individual, If abortion were real easy
it would be good but I think a person
should have to think about what the
relationship means and what the baby
means, and then deside on her own inv
stead of just doing the natural thing,
iivhat everyone else does."
My parents would have taken me out
5“ school, taken me home, forced me to
have the Child. They would have been
in mortal shame. I would have had to
suit school and not come back. They
want the best {or me, but they couldn't
stand the shame it would have brought
on the family. If I told them now, they
would condemn it. I doubt if they would
‘believe it at first. I think they would
think it best that I handled it myself."

As If Nothing Happened

Girl B: ”I had it right before Christ-
mas vacation. I had to lie that the car
broke down to excuse getting home a few
days later. i had to go on just as if
nothing had happened: go out and shovel

'snow, go skiing, play outdoors as usual.
I bled for three or four weeks and l was
really weak. I got tired of living a lie.
Finally i told them two nights before
I left for school. My parents aren’t
against intercourse, they think it's up
to me, although they've ingrained in

acne the idea that it’s terrible and dirty
before marriage. They're for legalizing
abortion, but against illegal abortions
because of the danger to the person.
But as much as they're against abor-
tion, they’re not upset with me for hav-
ing had one, but for getting in a situa-
tion where I needed one .”

Boy: “I told my parents afterwards.
They were mostly concerned for her
health. When we told her parents, they
didn’t want to talk with me right away.
So they went off to her father's study
to talk. They were very disappointed
in her and concerned about her health.
They were especially hurt and disap<
pointed for her not telling them. They
weren’t particularly angry. It’s almost
like it’s over and done with and there’s

"ho sense in harping on it.”

Girl F: ”I won't tell my parents. I’m
protecting them. I was in a strange mood
while i was home because 1 had to hide
things like morning sickness. Mother ev-

SCARLET AND BLACK

W

In blamed herself for my depression
when I was home. She would certainly
blame herself for this. I also want to
protect myself from their opinion of me."

Girl Azj "I’m protecting them. It
would be very mind-blowing to my moths
er. I’m protecting her mental health.
It’s not as if I could be around day af~
ter day to keep explaining it to her. !
was very frightened by the idea of hav-
ing to tell my parents, They'd be very
shocked. It’s something single girls
shouldn’t be able to have done because
they should be punished for their illicit
acts of intercourse. They think it should
be available for some people but not
everyone because it would promote
promisculty.”

Parents Helpless Too

Girl E: “I think part of the problem
with parents is the illegality. If you come
to them, they’re as helpless as you are.
They don't know where to find a safe
abortionist. They don’t think it’s a bad
thing to have a baby, just irresponsible.
But what can they do?"

Girl C: “When the doctor told me I
was pregnant it was like hysteria. I
didn't know what to do. I had to take
exams and everything. By the time I
found out that a friend’s mother could
arrange it and I could borrow the money
I was used to the tension. I was numb. I
wasn't afraid of the pain — just of
my parents’ knowing. I went to a wo-
man with no medical training. She’s
been very successful, had only a few
accidents and they haven't been fatal.
She tried to induce labor by stuffing a
small rubber tube with air trapped in
it into the uterus. It was very, very
painful and I don’t think it's supposed to
be and it bled. Then cotton and other
things are stuffed in. The pressure
builds up and that causes the foetus to
be dislodged. She was very good, i felt
like I Could trust her a lot. She told me
exactly what would happen and how
i would know if something was going
wrong and when to go to the hospital.
And she told me definitely to go to the
hospital when the thing got out. It was
supposed to come out within eight
hours. I was really sick for about two
hours. Then nothing happened for about
eighteen hours. Then it just plopped out
and I knew there was something wrong.
Two days after that. I went to the hospi-
tal. I’d been bleeding quite heavily for
all that time. The intern said I'd need
a D. and C. (dilatation and curettage
~involves a widening of the cervix and
scraping of the uterus. This method
was used on A and B with local
anesthetics, and Du E without any
anesthetic at all) because the foetus was
partially dislodged. He said 1 would just
have gone on bleeding if I hadn’t come
in. i spent that night at the hospital and
the next day had the operation under
general anesthetic. There was no pain at
all. I left the hospital that alternoon.
The total bill was $280. The doctor said
"if you don’t want us to noiily your
parents we want." They didn‘t ask
where I was staying."

Like A Fantasy

Boy: “Throughout the entire preg-
nancy it just didn’t seem like reality.
it was just like it was something off in
another world. I’d just sit down and try
and make myself realize that this was
my situation and it just didn’t register
at all it was like a fantasy while I was

going through lt and it still is. The
only thing that wasn’t like that was the
doctor. I think that was because he
was really wonderful. He was trying to
make us feel at ease and get us into his
confidence. We’d just sit with him and
talk about his actions against the abor-
tionlaws.

He was talking about how he was a
rebel, he was living What he believed in,
trying to relate it to kids on college
campuses, saying he was similar to
them except he was putting more on the
line because he was a licensed surgeon
and risking his career. We were in a pri-
vate home. The most distinctive thing
was the way he controlled the atmos-
phere. He showed more compassion, con-
corn, and feeling than the usual notion
of an abortionist.”

(Note: D and F went to the same abor-
tionist as did the boy.)

Girl F: “It was painful, but not at all
frightening. 1 was well prepared by the
doctor and other people, and others who
had been through it. He was in an apart-
ment with an unmarked box. I was to
knock on the door, and when it was up
ened walk in, not saying anything. I
was confused about where it was but
I found it by the noise of people talking.
Then I saw a couple knock and walk in
with nothing said. The first day he
broke the mucus at the Cervix and i -
serted gauze soaked with antiseptic,
causing the uterus to contract. lie packed
the uterus with gauze. Then we waited
for 24 hours for dilatation. Cramping
occurred. The next day, the major and
most painful part, he first pulled the
packing out. Then he used the suction
machine, which is manufactured in ,

. and cost 31000. It is a white box
with a vacuum pump inside, two quart
bottles on top and hoses coming out.
There are three different size nozzles to
insert in the uterus, depending on dilata-
tion. When he turns on the switch, you
can watch it go into the bottles, About
a cup of blood, foam, and broken tissue
came out. Then he Curetted a little to
loosen it up, and then did the suction
again. I had pretty bad cramps, but I
felt alive again, ecstatic, elated, 1 could
hardly walk, but it was a beautiful feeb
ing. The third day he did more curetting,
wiped the ervix with antiseptic and
gave pen He generally operates
on five people a day."

Girl D “He was in a small apart-
ment building. He moves frequently, and
usually has two places rented besides the
one he’s in, He stays in each place may-
be two weeks. He posed as a distribu-
tor for soap, and even had soap lying
around. He sterilized everything twicc,
first by heat and then cold. Four of us
were staying at the apartment. Different
people came in every morning. of the
people there none of them had any parti-
cular pain. He talked to us about what
was going to happen. He is very relaxed
and inspires confidence. Everything is on
a first name baSls.”

Abortion, Aborlion, Abortion
Girl F: “I assumed i was pregnant
from the start, when 1 found out I re—

Pogo Five

member trying to think of how I felt and
I felt fine. I felt it was important to stay
sane. 1 always kept my head. The only
sense of unreaiity I had was during
those three days when l was just
around people who talked abortion, abor-
tion, abortion.”

Girl A: “I couldn’t stand the thought
of having to get married and have a
kid at that point. I didn't consider it.
There was never any doubt in my mind
about what I was going to do, I couldn't
talk to people about it. It was a very
mushrhiish thing. i didn't really believe
it was happening to me. That was the
only way I got through it. I was franti-
cally running around the library trying
to find books on abortion. They were all
behind the desk. Afterwards I was just
relieved. I was still upset about the idea
that my parents might find out. It took
me six months to stop being over-
whelmed by it. i think that’s primarily
because people just don’t talk about it
and you have to live with it by yourself
and just a few friends. Nearly two years
after the abortion I began to talk and
joke about it, but there was a grear
tension. I’m still cautious about who I
talk wiih about it because you can’t
trust how people will react.”

AFTERWORD: Those who want to do
a little help to change the abortion
laws might begin by clipping this arti-
cle and sending it with a letter to their
state legislators. The law, however,
is not an liberation hut R reflection
of prevailing attitudes and values in
American society. It betrays a deep
misunderstanding of human sexuality,
of the freedom and responsibility of
individual women regarding child beara
ing, of the importance of the quality or
human life Is opposed to ils merely
technical definition.

Like so many of our laws, it bears
heavily on the poor while the rich may
circumvent it. This is not inconsistent
with a Society dedicated to the pro-
tection of free enterprise but not the
elimination of poverty, in ii rising
G.N.I’. but not the improvement of the
environment, to the maximum use of
technology for efficient mass produc-
tion to meet a manipulated, uniform-
iZed mass demand but not for discov-
ering and responding to diverse human
needs and potentialities. Those who
wish to analyze and develop a strategy
to attack these deeper problems will
find kindred spirits in the Women for
Freedom group on campus.

OH NO!

BO

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