Friday. January 12. ms SCARLET AND BLACK Page Thral Paul Roberts Roberts Rules Of Disorder “Toyl’dnd, toyland/wonderlul little girl and boy- land." How many times during the recent holidays did you hear that sweet, innocent refrain? But, have you visited toyland recently? 1 have an eight year old brother for whom I wished to buy a present, so during the vacation i found myself walking naively into toyland “Why, hello there young college man," said a bright, young clerk wearing a starched carnation and a stal‘ched Smile. “May I be of some assist- ance?" “Well, yes,” i said rattler dumbiy, feeling quite unsure or myself in his awesome presence. ”I’m looking for a Christmas present {or an eight year old." "How nice. Now is he more interested in con- \enl'0n€ll W ‘fal‘e ot' gilerilla Warfare?" “No, I think baseball is his interest, you See he's only eight years old and . . “Don’t be silly," he barked imperiousiy. “Now our store IS divided into conventional, guerilia, atomic, and old fashioned warfare. Where would you like to start?” “But is that all you have?” My guide stopped in midsenteiice and looked at me with pure contempt, “Is that all we have? I want you to know that McNamara's Department Store has the most complete stock of toys in town. For example, there isn’t another store in town that has this one,” and he lovingly hired a gun from it's rack "This is an exact duplicate of the latest atomic warhead rifle that is being used in viet Nam by our advisers — for self defense only, ol course. Or, ii you don’t think your brother would like that, take this one over herfi. This is the (mast, fastest, most modern device in the field of fine, last. modern death. Secret government reports say that this weapon can wipe out a small village in less than . . By this time I wasn't hearing much. i had wan- dered away i-rorn my ordinance oiiicer and was busy looking for a baseball glove or something. it was while wandering aimlessly in the blow gun department that I spotted a little old lady Whom I felt sure would be able to help me, “Pardon me, little old lady," I said, "But I'm looking (or a Christmas present for my eight year old brother and I don't want an atomic warhead rifle or a secret weapon.” “Well, young college man," she said sweetly. much as my own Grandmother might have, “I think i can help you. What you want is one or our latest games." “Oh yes, yes," I said with relief. “A game." And Rights Work. llnyone'.l See Addresses Below Southern summer projects for students increase in scope and effectiveness each year. Col- lege Chaplain Roger Eldridge has a list of specific projects memories of Monopoly on the Screenednln lront porch on a rainy day and checkers by the fireside with Dad came flooding back to me ”Now here is the latest thing in multiple pal" ticipant games. it can he played with two to eight players and all the pieces are included." “Yes, yes, that Sounds line" ”We call this one Megadeath. You see, the red army tries to annihilate the blue army While at the same time preserving enough of an atomic storehouse and enough germ bombs to keep the yellow army at boy. or course as your brother be- comes more adept at Megadeath he’ll be able to Professors VisiI. Return. Named. . 0n Absence Leaves for Semester Appointment of two visitingi professors to the Grinnell Col— lege faculty for the second se- mester or the current academic year has been announced. They are: Robert Caamano, Whitneya Fulbright visiting protessor of music. Donald A, Davie, visiting pro- fessor or English, A professor-elect at the Unln versity of Essex, Davie lias‘ Philip S, Thomas, (econom‘ ics), who has been on the staff of the Institute of Develop- ment Economics at Karachi, Pakistan, since June, 1963i Leaves have been approved for four faculty members next semester. H. George Apostle (mathe- matics) will Complete transla- tion and commentaries of “Metaphysics of Aristotle." This is the first Oil in series of play the nerve gas iinesse against the red army thus I been a lecturer at the Univer—iapproximately l5 translations of enabling ..... Now when l was a kid we played cowboys and! Indians and killed Each other. But when I was a kid, a dead cowboy or Indian counted to ten, came back to lite, and went on playing the game. I mean,'i when you were shot with a bow and suctioncup arfl row or an oldnfasliioned, cap-shooting six-gull that never had any caps, it wasn’t too hard to imagine coming back to llle, But what kid has the imagin- ation to count to ten (or even twenty). come back to lite and go on playing the game after being shot with atomic bullets, bombed with hydrogen bombs, mutilated with nuclear boobyntraps, and evaporated with neutron rays? >I< >1< >.< Stale cigarette smoke and bleary eyes gave the scene a death—like pallor . . . “I’ve got a final tomorrow about which i know nothing, absolutely nothing. i thought i was hurtin' for the last one, but this, boy ." “Listen, I have three novels to read for tomorrow’s final, and one of those is Ship of Fools, so you've got nothing to worry about compared to me." “You two should worry. I have two finals day after tomorrow and one oi those counts 90% of my grade—and it's in my major field. I don’t even know what the reading assignments were for this semesteri In fact, I'm not really sure Who my professor is.” ”I think I had one this morning, so you three haven’t got half the troubles I do. Frankly, I think finals should be abolished. They put entirely too much pressure on the students. Kids go crazy they study so hard for 'em, and besides they ruin their health staying up late at night studying. God, what do they think we are kids that we need to have a rinal exam to get us to work? Say, whose bid is it?" “I think it’s yours.” “Oh, yeah. Three hearts . . a" / 21, Over? Grinnell to Give You Free Certificate of Age, Identification cards for students over twenty-one soon will be mak» ling the Grinnell scene. Dean Waldo IWalker announced this week. Picture Included those plans. Now five weeks in de- velopment, the first batch is ex- pected any day from the printer tor distribution, Chief oi Grinnell's police, Bill from Massachusetts to Texas A list of recruiting organiza- tions for human rights pro- grams appears below Mr. William Strickland Northern Student Movement 73 Morningside Dr. New York, New York Mr. Norman Hill Congress on Racial Equality 38 Park Row New York, New York 10038 The Rev. Andrew Young Southern Christian Leader- ship Movement 334 Auburn Avenue Atlanta 3, Georgia Summer Project committee Council of Federated Organ- izations £017 Lynch Street Jackson, Mississippi 39208 The cards will bear pictures of their owners tor the purpose of easy, accurate discrimination, but, although one is being printed tor each young adult on campus. pos- session will be strictly voluntary. Suggested by city otticiais, the was to be done during Christmas recess, but Dean Walker's automo- Peterson, in an interview trankly admitted the possibility that some underage students are using false identification to Obtain alcoholic drinks and said that the new ID's might add to the problem that is cards are of no special interest to :35 01d 2‘5 beer "SE”- the college itself, according tol, Dean Walker. Printing originally I tablishments will demand the IDS lfor prooi or age, however, Dean When asked whether local es- Walker could only answer, “1 pre- hile accident delayed fulfillment of l sume they will." Collum's DON'T SLIP on SPIN! gel' Alias Snow Tires FROM STANDARD ‘III’ Isity or Cambridge the past sixi years. He holds B. A., M. A.,‘i nd Ph. D. degrees from Came: :l'ldge and has also served as} a Visiting professor at the Uni-i versity of California, (Santal Barbara) and as a lecturer at, Trinity College or Dublin Uni-I versity, lreland. Listed in Who's, Who I963, Davie has written; numerous books, both poetry and prose. Two additional appointments} for the second semester are} Martha H. Fletcher, assistant! in French, and David L. Palm» er, assistant in history. Mrs. Fletcher holds a B. A. degree from the University of California (Berkeley) and cer- tificates from the University of Paris. A 1962 graduate of Grinnell, Palmer is completing work to- ward his M, A, degree at the University of Iowa, While study- ing at the U. of L, Palmer also served as a research assistant and research associate. At Grin- neil, he was elected to Phi Beta Kappa in l962. Four faculty members will be returning from leaves. They are: Dirk Baay (German), who served as a Fulbrightaflays visiting lecturer at Cuttington College, Suacoco, Liberia, the past two semesters. Joseph D. Dantorth (chemis- try), who has been working in Paris the last semester With the UNESCO Science Teaching- Section. Ned Donahoe (speech and‘i theatre), who has been at Le Moyne College one semester teaching and helping develop the college’s drama depart- nlent. FREE DELIVERY Aristotle's Apostle. Andrew F. Brown (German), Will go to Germany to work on a book about U. E. tossing. an 18th century German critic, theologian, and dramatist, Howard R. Rarig (music). will study contemporary ltalian music in italy with several noted composers and musicians. One or them is Luciano Berio, who recently composed a work for Grililiell College and attend ed its world premiere by the Lenox Quartet here last De~ cember. Richard B. Young (men's physical education) will con- tinue graduate study at Cali- fornia State College at Los An- geles. Year-long leaves will con. tinue for five faculty members, John C. Dawson (economics) is conducting research at the London School of Economics under a Brookings Institution professorship. Receiving special training in psychotherapy at the Merrilh Palmer Institute in Michigan is Vladimir A. Dupre (psyclml‘ 033') Seymour Katz (English) is re- searching the fiction of Nathan- iel Hawthorne at Harvard Uni- versity. Paul A. L, Smith (political science) is serving as a faculty fellow with the Democratic Na- tional Committee in Washing- ton, D. C. At the University of Gotham burg, Sweden, Joseph F. Walt (history) is assisting the uni- Versity in establishing an American studies major and is also teaching American history. work planned by When Deeply Involved In That Interim Study Proiecl TAKE A BREAK with or , PIZZA From , DENO'S Don't forget those SUBMARINES on Mon. and Wed. FREE DELIVERY Nlte _ 7-i2 p. .